The Adventures of Cowboy Hazel

I just got back from an grueling day trip to Philadelphia. Don’t get me wrong — It was a fun trip and I’m totally glad I took it (you might even say I needed it for my mental sanity), but still it was exhausting and right now I am in more pain than I can remember ever being in. I got so ridiculously sunburnt in such a random, uneven fashion that I would laugh at myself for looking so stupid if it didn’t hurt so much to move my face right now… And, on top of that, I walked over 18 miles today in incredibly uncomfortable shoes that are too small for me (they were bothering me this morning before I left my apartment — Stupid Robert, stupid…) and my feet are swollen as hell now and my big toes are very sore to the touch and look like they’re going to bruise up.  As if that weren’t enough, there was some unmentionable chafing that occurred today. The pain that caused me when I got in the shower tonight made the extreme sunburn and swollen feet seem like the mildest of discomforts in comparison…

So, I’m gonna keep this pretty short because I am, as mentioned, feeling like shit. On top of that, I worked about 90 hours this past week, ran over 35 miles, went to a Yankees game with my friend Diana, and as a result have gotten far too little sleep. This next week is going to be equally intense so I should get whatever sleep I can tonight. I just want to jot down a few notes about my trip to Philly while it’s fresh in my head.

So, the day started with me walking through downtown on the way to the Historic District. As in any city, walking downtown early on a Sunday morning was eerily quiet and discomforting. I’m glad that I came back through there again on my way out, otherwise I would have been left with a bad impression. Anyway, I made it down to the Historical District after getting some breakfast and went to see the Liberty Bell. I must say, I was disappointed. It was smaller than I had imagined and it was in such a fake, modern setting that it didn’t even seem real. I snapped a few photos and then quickly headed over to Independence Hall. There was a whole schedule and ticket process for that, so I opted out and went and saw the pages from the Constitution in Congress Hall next door. Again, disappointing. I don’t know what I imagined it would be like, but what was there wasn’t that impressive.

After leaving the Historical District somewhat disillusioned, I wandered to Penn’s Landing. There was a security guard at the gate but he waved me in. They were setting up for some event. I was walking around taking photos and looking at the river when another guard came up to me and kicked me out because apparently I wasn’t supposed to be there. I ended up having to make a big loop around the parking lot because they kicked me out on the opposite side that I came in on.

From there, I walked along the base of the highway back towards the Benjamin Franklin Bridge. I decided to walk over it to Delaware and back. Of course, when I got home and looked at a map, I realized that I had actually walked to New Jersey, not Delaware. This would be a good time to mention the fact that I had no map with me and had not looked at directions for anything. I’ve never been to Philadelphia before, either. I just decided to wing it. So, as I’m walking back across the bridge, I scan the horizon looking for the ballpark. I see what I think is a stadium way off to the west and, since I can’t see anything else on the Philadelphia side of the river, I decide that has to be it and start walking in that general direction.

About an hour and a half later, I was losing hope and thinking that I’d gotten myself horribly lost when a drunk man stumbled out of a random bar and asked me if I need directions. I tell him I’m going to the Phillies game and ask where the stadium is. He confirms that I am going the right direction (pretty much) but says that it’s a helluva long way away still. Considering that I’ve been walking for like five straight hours at this point, that was not the news I wanted to hear. I decided to hail a cab, but none were coming by. Finally, like twenty minutes later, the top of the stadium emerges behind a building. You have no idea how happy that made me. I finally got there about a half hour before the game started, but by that point, I was so thirsty and hot and my feet hurt so bad I could barely keep going.

As soon as I got into the ballpark, I bought three waters ($12) and an ugly Phillies hat to keep off the sun ($22). I sat in the shade for a while, but then went out to my seat as the game started and got scorched for six innings until we finally got shadows. The game was good — the Phillies lost 3-2 to the Angels. It’s too bad they didn’t win, but at least it was close. I was surprised how enthusiastic and supportive the Phillies fans were. After you hear so much crap about Eagles fans and how they’re always booing the team, I didn’t expect to see 40,000+ Philadelphians out there intensely rooting on their baseball team. I think about 95% of the crowd was in Phillies gear of some form or another and they all got real excited whenever anything even remotely positive happened. The park itself is awesome too. I think they just built it in 2004. Anyway, I really like the way that the architecture plays with the traditional notion of space within a stadium.

By the end of the game, I was totally wiped out but I couldn’t find a bus or a taxi or anything, so I ended up just walking back to the city. I stopped and got some dinner, but other than that, it was pretty much a straight line from the stadium back to the train station.

All in all, it was a pretty good trip. I saw everything I had wanted to see (except the Rocky Statue which I couldn’t find), ate a real Philly Cheesesteak, added another major league stadium to the list of those I’ve seen games at, and, most importantly, was able to take a big step away from all the work that’s sitting on my plate and catch my breath, so to speak.

Oh, and one last thing before I call it a night… When I was got back to New York and was heading uptown on the 2, I overheard one of the most interesting conversations ever:

Man 1: “Do you ever get bees in your apartment?”
Man 2: “No.” Pause. “Why, do you?”
Man 1: “No.”